Scan results
I went to the Hospice this morning for my appointment with my Consultant for my routine update with her and for the results of the Scan which I had last Thursday.  The appointment was really helpful in shedding light on many of the symptoms I've been experiencing these past several weeks and gives us an overview of tracking the Cancer.

The Scan report is not as straight forward to interpret as you might think because the Radiologist had nothing to compare this latest scan to, although we know there were at least 5 tumours in the lungs the latest Scan report states multiple soft tissue densities.  We know the size of the largest is 18mm which compares to our Scan report from January showing a doubling in size.  This seems to have been the 'routine' growth of the tumours in the lung since January 2011 according to all the scans I've had. 

We already knew the mass in my pelvis was causing an obstruction and affecting my Kidney, at this stage I'm being referred to an Urologist for further investigation as I may need to have a procedure which I can talk about again at a later date when the time comes. 

Thankfully, my Bowel and Liver are still okay since surgery which I find quite surprising considering.

It now seems obvious that cancer is now in my Ovaries there seems to have been a lot of activity in that area since my last C.T. and Ultra-Sound Scan which explains many of the symptoms I'm experiencing.  The two tumours are 6 x 6 centimeter and one 4.5 by 3.5 cm.  The one on the left is pushing my Uterus to the right.  

I feel much better knowing what's going on in my pelvis the pain and discomfort and other symptoms have been getting worse.  I'm going on to the lowest dosage of Morphine liquid starting tomorrow when we pick up the medicines.  We'll see if this helps with the pain I have now because whatever I already have isn't working, if it doesn't the Consultant will change the dosage. 

It was a long appointment so we covered a lot and it was nice to have Jessica with us, but these are the main things we covered.  My problem area is my abdomen despite the activity in my lungs because the bigger the tumours grow the more organs will get pushed around in my abdomen.

I'm really tired now, it's been a long day, I was ready for a rest just before I got out of the door to leave for the appointment.  My mind is on melt down and I need a long rest where I can switch off from all external stimulus!  I hope some of this makes sense, hopefully Jessica or Alan can put some notes up on the group page if they think of something they want to say.  I'm not the best person to be doing an update with my fatigue levels as they are now but this is a really good way of updating everyone in one hit!


Thank you everyone for your continued support, your love and strengths which you so freely share with me.  I am much more grateful than I sound, of that I am sure.  I feel like a robot most of the time the fatigue makes it difficult to get over emotional or over anything really.  There again I'm a very feet on the ground kind of person but can 'flick' over to my emotional side from time to time.  It's all about balance for me.... Since I started this experience with cancer I've learned to be more realistic and down to earth, that side of me has really edged in, because it has had to.  It helps me take things in my stride and work through what's happening to me.  These past 2 months has seen me going through big changes again with not being able to participate in 'life' as much as before.  I view most of what's going on from the wings like I'm part of a play, this play of life.  I can't get involved in what I maybe doing in 5 or 10 years time like I used to.  That's been taken away now with a list of things I could talk all day about.  This is how it is for me now.  I listen to people talk about their futures, their dreams, it could be a very lonely place, now and again it is a lonely place, but us humans are very good at adapting when we have to and I truly believe everyone has the strength to get through their stuff.  Difficult experiences can make a human reach into the depths of who they are, what we can find there are strengths and resilience we may not have been aware of before.