I've been spending quiet a lot of time recently, sorting through all my work things, mainly paperwork.  I must have filled two big bags with recycling paper and rubbish.  It has been time spent in an intense feeling, there were poignant moments.  No, the whole time I was clearing out was poignant.   I'd spent at least 10 years studying, and increasing what I could offer in my work as an Holistic Therapist whilst living in Dubai, U.A.E.  All my diplomas, course work, case studies. Hours and hours of work all ready to bite the dust .   The stress management power point I wrote, and put together for sessions, the long hours working on all aspects of my business, including my website, all gone.   I remember how difficult it was to get my website designed and up and running.  I had two stabs at it, the second time I was ill.  I had cancer both times and didn't know.  I forced through feeling ill to make it happen.  I remember thinking it's as if I'm working against something here.  Why is this so difficult, as if it's not meant to happen.  Three months later I was told I had stage 4 - advanced Colon Cancer.