Occupational Therapist Home Visit
I had a visit from the community Occupational Therapist this morning.  I really enjoyed her visit, I found it productive and I was happy to learn the way I continue to adapt my lifestyle around the fatigue I experience is on the right track.  I answered her questions and graded how I experience fatigue during the day between 1-10 points.  I've also got some homework to do, filling in a few forms and using the same grading system for each task I do.  Whilst we were talking I saw how far I'd moved away from how I used to be able to function.  I wouldn't think twice about the routines I had in my day I'd just do them whatever they were.  I took the way I could function for granted, I only needed to think how the way I functioned was different if I had a common cold, or had a virus, or something which changed how I could function.  My life was my life, I was living it how it was then, why would I need to think, oh look I can mop the floor or cook a meal.  It's only when normal every day functionality is taken away I understand how fortunate, and for me, how very wonderful it is to be able to do tasks without thought.  I'm starting to get used to planning my day a bit better so I don't get caught out with fatigue as much as I do.  I break things down into little tasks as much as possible, spreading things out over a full week to get them done.  What I could get done in a day now takes me a week to complete and that's without working either.  Mentally, I've adjusted as I've gone along, and I've shed the disappointments and frustrations of not having the freedom of being able to do the day to day things I took for granted before I developed bowel cancer.  Every day is an adjustment, mentally and physically, as the disease progresses.  When cancer reaches the terminally ill stage, it can feel like it's running behind you hounding you down.  I like to try and stay a few steps ahead and know what I could be up against in the future.  Not so I can wallow in sorrow or fear of what may come, but that's okay if I feel sorrow or fear, but so I can prepare mentally, which is important to me, and has been throughout this journey.  The Occupational Therapist has agreed to be honest and up front with me, we understand each other, and this will be helpful in the months ahead as we work together and she helps me to live. To live.  That sounds good.