Thank you for the comments on the facebook group page - Judith McGuinness Cancer support through collective thinking. I've not found it easy to share parts of my journey through cancer, especially in this blog, where I've shared some intimate parts of my life with friends and the public in general. In yesterdays blog I talked about feeling down, I found that difficult to do, but it was real, I was exposing a part of myself that I would usually keep to myself. When I was growing up the influences around me were all about, snapping out of things and putting a smile on your face. I learned to do a fake smile very well. Smile your way through everything...what's wrong with your face, why are you being moody. I felt guilty for feeling, I felt guilty being who I was. Learning to express how I feel hasn't been easy over the years, I'd tuck everything away, swallow it down and crack on. Now, I make a conscious effort to acknowledge how I'm feeling and be real, be honest, or as honest as I can be. As I said in a previous blog, sharing my journey is about drawing attention to early detection and diagnosis of cancer. If someone out there gets checked out, or recommends a friend or family get tested, if they think they are experiencing symptoms which aren't normal for them, it's worth every line, and every private thought I can put out here on these blogs. Listen to your body regularly, many times it's trying to tell you something, don't ignore it like I did.
I now have an appointment for an ultra sound scan, I only went to see my G.P. yesterday so I was amazed when I got a phone call from a hospital which is not too far from where I live. It's not the usual National Health Service Hospital but a Private Hospital. I'm not sure how my Doctor made this happen in record time but she did. Friday will see me at the Hospice in the morning to see my Doctor there, and then in the afternoon I have the Ultra sound scan to check the cysts which have developed in my Ovaries.
I'm putting this track on today's blog for no reason whatsoever other than for the heck of it. I liked listening to Carlos Santana on Guitar since I was a teenager. When we lived in Dubai we played this quite a lot. When Alan was working away I'd play it ..even when are apart it feels like we're together... It's not bad for singing along to and dancing round the kitchen to either.
Carlos Santana - Maria Maria
